Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature

Perhaps if I was familiar with Zibby Owens' podcasts, I might have appreciated Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature a little bit more than I did.

I thought this was going to be a story about how books helped "save" Zibby during times of turmoil in her life. That wasn't the case. She'd write about a difficult time and would sprinkle in the titles of the books she'd read at the time. So was it the act of keeping distracted by reading that helped her out? She never really said. I know that's true for me.

Owens has lived a very entitled life and while she did express appreciation for all that she is, I found it irritating that her podcast and other essays are framed as "Moms Don't Have Time to..."™️ What does she really know about the struggle that moms who don't come from rich parents... or don't have a good education allowing them to have many choices... or don't have full-time help... or don't have a mother with her own full-time help living nearby... or... I can go on and on.

I also understand that Owens wishes to maintain the privacy of her ex-husband and her children, but it's like her four kids came to be through immaculate conception. She briefly noted, while talking about a difficult time, that "in the meantime I'd gotten married" but no mention after that of her marrriage. At all. Then, all of a sudden she's lusting after her tennis pro. It took a while for me to understand that she was no longer married. She also only briefly mentioned the agony of shared custody. Clearly, though, her ex-husband (or someone) had the kids quite regularly and for longer than a quick overnight since she and her new husband, Kyle, were able to jet off to Los Angeles or Europe or wherever it was they were jetting off to. 

I was a single mother. I know what that's like. Yet my single mother story was nothing like hers. And I truly didn't have time to read for the time period when I was working full-time, going to school at night, and doing most of the parenting on my own. After that, once I started reading again, I was the person friends would come to when they wanted book recommendations. I was still working full-time, still doing the bulk of parenting on my own, and no way would I have had time to become an influencer. Not that that was really a thing in the late 90s.

Her losses were pretty tragic and that's why I hold back on criticizing the book too much. I can't even imagine walking in her shoes as she lost friend after friend to tragic deaths. At one point, shortly after she lost a very close friend on 9/11, she drafted a novel about losing a friend on 9/11. An agent told her it was too soon for people to read novels about 9/11. Couldn't she switch up the story so her friend died in a car crash? Because I am a person who tries to make sense of things through reading, I would have appreciated a 9/11 book shortly after 9/11. I'm sorry she never wrote that book.

What I did like was Owens conversational tone. No doubt it works quite well for essays and on her podcast. I also enjoyed reading about Owens experience with Weight Watchers.

I only gave this memoir 2 stars on Goodreads. I think had I not had the preconceived notion that I was going to learn about what type of books helped her through different types of crises, if I didn't think she omitted personal information that might have helped give me context, I might have enjoyed the book a little bit more.

 

The Reading List

After finishing The Weight of Ink, a very hefty read, I was glad that next in my "to be read" pile was The Reading List. It's a new novel by Sara Nisha Adams. I might have read about it in Renee's Reading Club on Facebook or it might have been part of a list of good summer reads. Wherever I picked up the idea to read it, I'm glad I did.

The Reading List is not a light and fluffy book, but it was easy to read. It was a novel about the power of books and the place of the library in the lives of a community. It's also about personal connections. It's also about grief.

A bunch of folks in Wembley found a list of books to read in random spots. Some of the people who found a copy of the list were readers, but many were not. It helped that I'd read all but one of the books on the list, but I don't know that it's necessary to have read them in order to enjoy this novel.

As I've shared before, I am a reader, but my husband is not. This quote from the book really screamed out to me.

"She was my wife, I should have paid attention to the books she liked. I liked  to watch her read, but never asked her what was happening in her books. I feel silly starting to read storybooks at my age." "It's never too late to read stories." "Stories feel so weird. Like seeing someone else's life that ou are not meant to. Being nosy!"

Over the past year, my kids and I have talked more and more about what we're reading. I was telling them about The Reading List when one of them asked me what my favorite book is. They might as well have asked me which one of them was my favorite child. There's no way to answer. Then my son said, "Well, you've read so much during the pandemic. What's one book that stands out to you that you've read over the past year and a half?" I did some thinking and eventually settled on Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. My comment when finishing that one was "Brings into focus what really matters." 

The conversation, though, has me thinking about what my favorite books might be. Like if I were to write up a list of books that I think others might find helpful, what books would I include? What books have helped me? I will probably keep thinking of this over the coming weeks and months.

The author shared what would be HER list of books she'd put on a book list which were quite different from the books her character selected for the list used in the novel. The books on her list are books that inspired her to want to be a reader and eventually a writer. I've copied down that list since unbelievably, while I've heard of several of the book, I haven't read a single one on her list!

1. Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake
2. Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
3. Zadie Smith, White Teeth
4. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah
5. Katherine Heiny, Standard Deviation
6. Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance
7. Hiromi Kawakami, Strange Weather in Tokyo
8. Angela Carter, The Magic Toyshop
   
9. Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
10. Attia Hosain, Sunlight on a Broken Column
11. Ali Smith, There But For The

There were a few other quotes that I highlighted, but strictly because of the text-to-self connections that I was able to make.

She loved this flat because her daughter had made it her own, and Naina had always prided herself on letting her daughters do what felt best for them, and making a space in the world for themselves. "Because if you don't, who will?" she used to say.

I don't often say that, but I always think that about my daughters and their choices.

He only wished that when Naina had gone, too, Naina had been there holding his hand. Leading him through his grief step by step.

This is another thought I often have. Like how would I have possibly made it through the deaths of my parents without having my cousin at my side. But then when my cousin died, who was there to help me make it through that grief?

He knew the world Priya was in right now. There was something magical in that - in sharing a world you have loved; allowing someone to see it through the same pair of spectacles you saw it through yourself.

Readers are never at a loss to find things to talk about with other readers. Ever. "Whatcha reading now?" Sharing books you've both loved. Sharing book recommendations.

And finally:

"I worried that you needed someone to take care of you after Mummy died, but I didn't give you the credit that you could take care of yourself, and when I tried to look after you, I forgot how to keep you company. I'm sorry." 

I'm sorry, Dad. After Mom died, you seemed so lost. I wanted to take care of you the way that you took care of me. In those first few weeks before we found out that you were sick, I should have more fully enjoyed spending time with you rather than worrying about how you were going to survive once I went home. Then, you were sick, and I really did need to, not necessarily take care of you but, advocate for you at the hospital and at the nursing home. I'm so glad, though, Dad, that during those 4 months, we really did get to keep each other company. And I think we did a good job of that.

I highly recommend this novel! This was Adams' debut novel, but she's got another one coming in the spring, The Shared Garden. I'm anxious to learn what that one is about. 

 

 

 

For the Love of Libraries

I started reading The Library Book by Sudan Orlean as an e-book. I was juggling books, needed to finish reading something for a book club, put it to the side... and it expired off my iPad. And then I picked it up as a physical paper-and-ink book. If ever there was a book to read while holding it in my hand, turning the pages, breathing in the scent of the book, really feeling the book, this was this book.

The Library Book is two things. It's a love affair with libraries - and books. It's also a chronicle of the great library fire at the Los Angeles' Central Library. I really enjoyed the book because it evoked memories of times spent at the library. First at my first library, the Brooklyn Public Library, the library of my childhood, and later at other libraries where I've happened to live. I'm just not sure that the story of the unsolved mystery of the Central Library fire meshed well with that love story. It did, however, serve as a backdrop to Orlean's exploration of the Los Angeles Public Library system. So perhaps it did make sense to pair the two.

I'll be discussing this book with my community book club later in the year. I hope I can remember all I'd like to share with my fellow readers at that time.

Orleans has great memories of going to the library as a young girl with her mother. (Her mother passed away shortly before the publication of this book.) She moves to Los Angeles as a young mother and knows with certainty that she is going to share the library with her small son. Her love of the library - and of books - is so clear.

I loved the library as a young girl. As an older teen, I was reading mostly mass market paperbacks which I could easily afford on my babysitter's budget. I continued buying my books from bookstores until my tastes turned more to recent bestsellers. Although I could still afford them, I was more mature and somewhat wiser and realized that the cost per minute of enjoyment just wasn't there for most books. I became more selective in what I purchased from bookstores. Orlean must have gone through something similar.

I couldn’t walk into a bookstore without leaving with something, or several somethings. I loved the fresh alkaline tang of new ink and paper, a smell that never emanated from a broken-in library book.

The story of why Harry Peak was the prime suspect in the library fire and why he was never convicted dragged on somewhat for me. I'm not really a "true crime" kind of reader. I didn't really care about the details of his poor, sorry life. Hearing what the library fire meant to others was very powerful. Plus this was interspersed with tales of the history of public libraries in America, about how and why people became librarians and about the love of so many for libraries, their books, and what they stand for.

Orlean clearly states her purpose at the conclusion of the book.

I looked around the room at the few people scattered here and there. Some were leaning into books, and a few were just resting, having a private moment in a public place, and I felt buoyed by being here. This is why I wanted to write this book, to tell about a place I love that doesn't belong to me but feels like it is mine, and how that feels marvelous and exceptional. All the things that are wrong in the world seem conquered by a library's simple unspoken promise: Here I am, please tell me your story; here is my story, please listen.

If her purpose resonates with you, this is probably a book you should explore. And I'd encourage you to visit your local public library, browse a little book, and then borrow this gem.

How cool is this book?

The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend

I discovered The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katrina Bivald quite by chance. It was delightful! Originally published in Swedish in 2013, it was published in English in 2015. It's the story of a reader, Sara, who prefers books to people and believes there is a book for every single person. That every single person can be a reader if given the right book to read.

Sara and Amy become pen pals, exchanging books and information about books. Sara, dissatisfied with her life in Sweden, is going to lose her job. Amy invites her to Iowa for a visit. Sara arrives in Broken Wheel, Iowa, just as Amy's funeral is coming to a conclusion. Now what is Sara supposed to do?

The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend is a love story. It's a love story between Sara and her books, between the dying town of Broken Wheel and Sara, and between Sara and Tom. It's not exactly chick lit. But if you like chick lit and you love reading books about books, this could be the book for you.

Lots of references are made to books and authors in the novel, most of which I have either read or am familiar with. There have been times in my life when I've preferred books to people. I'm sure you won't be surprised that I found Sara very easy to relate to. Living where I live, I also have a sense about what a dying town might look like and how a new business in town brings a new life to the place. After all the heavy historical fiction I've been reading, it was nice to read something contemporary and light.