Saturday, November 3, 2018

the year of less

I wish I could remember where I first learned about the year of less: how I stopped shopping, gave away my belongings, and discovered life is worth more than anything you can buy in a store. But the idea totally intrigued me. Living less. After making 3 moves in less than 18 months just over 8 years ago, I decided that less is more. With each subsequent move, I got rid of more and more belongings. In retrospect, I was a bit overzealous in getting rid of things as I was moving. Reading the year of less did make me feel a bit better about some of the things I still long for today and the fact that they are gone from my life.

Cait Flanders is in her 20s when she decides to embark on a year-long shopping ban. Her previous projects had been to get out of debt, stop drinking and get healthy (lose weight and become more active). She'd succeeded at all three of those. So when she couldn't find some kitchen utensil that she was looking for, she decided that she had way too many things and it was time to minimize.

I'm at a totally different stage of life than Cait Flanders and she's much more of a "black and white" person than I am - and I suppose a heck of a lot more OCD - yet I nodded my head in affirmation as I was able to relate to her struggles with consumerism. I'm impressed with much of what she has learned as a much younger age than when I learned similar lessons.

Cait is an avid reader. She used to buy whatever book she thought she wanted to read. But unlike in the "old days" when I was in my late 20s and loved buying books, I had to go to a book store and weigh just how much I wanted to part with my cash before I left the store with a purchase. In today's age, she was purchasing her books online, usually buying more than just one book to make sure that she could get shipping and handling down to free. Plus lots of her purchases were impulsive. It's admirable that she found good homes for most of her books that she gave away, but why was there never any mention of the library? I was in my mid-30s when I realized that I wanted to spend any "book money" on books for my kids and that I could get anything, or almost anything, I wanted from the library.

Cait realizes that a lot of the clothing in her wardrobe, pre-purge, is clothing that she bought because she wanted to be the type of person that wore those kinds of things. My younger self could certainly relate.

Which brings me to another difference in our lives. Cait is single. And even during my single days, I was raising three kids. I find it much easier to say "no" to myself when debating the merits of any particular purchase than to say "no" to a child or to a husband. And I'm not a pushover. But why should my husband or kids have to suffer my decision to be frugal?

I managed to get myself into more debt than I was comfortable with when my kids were teens still living at home. That happened, in large part, because I still co-owned our home with my ex-husband, the house needed some major work, and I was responsible for all the upkeep. It wasn't as though I'd gone on some big spending spree. When I was left with just one child at home, I decided that I had to eliminate my credit card debt. With determination and rules similar to some of the rules that Cait decided to live by during her shopping ban, I was able to get myself out of debt in less than a year. I could only buy something new if I was replacing something worn out. I could only use my credit card on household items. I wish I could remember more of my rules. I lived on a cash basis, primarily (exception was household items and anything where you could only pay by credit card - over 10 years ago there were more things you could pay without touching a credit card - like gasoline). I'd nearly eliminated credit card use and withdrew only slightly more cash from the bank each week than I had in the past. But unlike the past, when my cash was gone, it was gone until the next time I was scheduled to hit the ATM. I was really good about that. It allowed a much larger amount of money to go towards debt service.

I even put my daughter's allowance schedule on the same cash withdrawal schedule that I was on, although she eventually had credit card issues of her own. I'd go to the bank on Wednesday evenings. That way if I blew all my cash over the weekend, I only had to struggle thru three work days with little or no cash.

One thing that was totally different between me and Cait was the fact that she lost her "shopping" friends. I had shopping friends when the kids were very little and I was only working very part-time. However, I never felt pressured to buy. I always enjoyed walking thru the mall. And none of my friends ever seemed to mind. If they were talking about great buys, I'd usually just tune out. I don't think they realized that. One line that Cait used when she became sober and then re-used when she was on her shopping ban was I don't care that you still shop, so why do you care that I don't?

I feel compelled to add that Cait is Canadian. No where in her list of permitted or not permitted expenses, nor as any part of her consideration when deciding whether to quit her job to freelance, was any mention of health care and/or health care expenses. I don't believe that to be a function of her age but rather the fact that not having health insurance is a huge concern in the United States where it's a total non-issue in Canada where healthcare is publicly funded.

At the end of the book, Cait gives a list of suggestions on how the reader can start his or her own shopping ban. She gives some pointers on how you might do this with other members of your household who are part of your family budget and makes it seem as though it's optional that you all participate of whether you'll be the example and go it alone. As I read that, all I could think of was all the resentment that would build up if I was strictly limiting myself in my spending and no one else was. That would not and could not work.

I was able to retire at a young age partly because I was willing to make do with less. I rarely go shopping and with the exception of needing to own a camera, my hobbies outside of travel cost me very little money. I'm not anywhere close to living with a shopping ban, but it's much, much harder to get me to part with my money than it was when I was working.

Would I recommend this book? If you're seriously interested in seeing how someone else survived a year of living with less, you might find this interesting. But other than the list of suggestions at the end of the book, this is Cait's book, Cait's story and not a real model for living less yourself.


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