Only Child

At our December community book club meeting, one member mentioned that she wished we had our February book selected as she'd like to read ahead. (In January, we have a meeting that I like to call "Let's Talk About Books" where we make recommendations and come up with a preliminary list from which to choose our books for the coming year. Two women suggested Only Child by Rhiannon Navin. They'd read this novel in another book club and said it made for a great discussion. Everyone was quick to agree to this book.

Having read it, I believe that the conversation about this novel should be extensive. There's so much to talk about. In the book description, it states, "Perfect for fans of Room" so I think I expected it to be more grizzly than it was. Don't get me wrong. This novel about a school shooting and the impact on the community and particular families was very disturbing. The story is narrated by six-year-old Zach Taylor who has a big heart and a capacity for compassion.

Zach has grown up with a brother with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His brother has been seeing a therapist for years. Perhaps Zach has seen the therapist, too. Or his parents try mindfulness exercises with both Zach and his brother. He is very attuned to his feelings. In fact, he's able to assign colors to his feeling and is able to realize that sometimes he feels just one emotion. Other times, his emotions get jumbled up.

Initially, Zach thinks that being an only child will be a positive experience. Then he realizes how horrible that initial thought was. He feels guilty for feeling that. What kind of horrible brother is he? Over time, he realizes that there was so much he never said to his brother.

In the novel, Zach thinks about the song, "Ten in the Bed."

There were two in the bed and the little one said, "Roll over! Roll over!" So they all rolled over and one feel out. There was one in the bed and the little one said, "Alone at last!"

In the song the way we sang it when I was growing up, when the little one was alone in the bed, the little one said, "I'm lonely." That's how Zach feels. He states "Alone at last!" I didn't want that to happen to me, but it happened anyway. And so now I was like in this giant bed that was too big and too empty, and there was a ton of space all around me with nothing in it.

I finished reading a little over a week ago and I'm already struggling to remember some of the finer points. And our book club doesn't meet for another 6 weeks. I'm going to respond to the discussion questions in this blog post. I don't believe that I'm including any spoilers.

1. In the opening lockdown scene, Zach repeatedly focuses on external sensations - the smell of Miss Russell's breath, the stuffiness in the closet, the popping sounds coming from the hallway. What does this tell us about how Zach perceives the world? What insight does it give us into who he is as a child, and as a narrator?

Zach's descriptions of the lockdown, in the closet, allows the reader to feel as though he or she is in the closet with Zach, his teacher and his classmates. Perhaps because I did years of lockdowns as a fifth grade teacher, I could feel the tension in that small space. I could imagine the stuffiness, the weird sense of quiet. Thankfully, I can't imagine the popping sounds coming from the hallway. Zach is in tune with the world around him. We'll get rich descriptions from this narrator. He's an observant, thoughtful child. He's really in touch with his feelings and seems to have strategies for dealing with uncomfortable feelings.

2. After overcoming her shock, Zach's mom campaigns against the parents of the shooter in an attempt to hold them accountable for their son's actions. Do you agree with her, or do you think she is out of line?

I'd like to think that if I were in her place, I wouldn't be so set on holding the parents of the shooter responsible. In her case, though, especially, I think she's out of line because she is the mom to a son who can't seem to be controlled. Who has issues (oppositional defiant disorder). Her rage makes it impossible for her to see the possibility that her son does something terrible. Would she feel at fault? How responsible are parents for the actions of their children? And at what age do the parents become less responsible? 

3. Reading the Magic Tree House books aloud "to Andy" helps Zach cope with his grief. Which books have helped you through difficult times in your life?

I think have Zach read these books aloud was really genius. It also shows how in touch he is with his feelings. He recognizes that he needs to stay connected to Andy. And he's found books that promise the secrets to happiness. Zach would like to be happy again.

When I go through difficult times, I usually seek to escape through my reading rather than searching for help. Okay, that's not totally true. When I was getting divorced, I read a handbook about being divorced from a jerk... or something like that. I also read a book about children of Holocaust survivors trying to get insight into my ex-husband's mind.

4. In their review of Only Child, Kirkus Reviews said of the Magic Tree House series, "Seems like a lot of people, and not just the ones in this novel, need to reread those books." What are the "secrets to happiness"? Do you try to live by these rules? How do you think you could incorporate them into your daily life?

Wow. I already can't remember what the secrets to happiness were. I did take some notes. There are four secrets of happiness. The first one was to pay attention to small things around you in nature. To feel curious was the second one. I wish I'd taken notes of all four. I do try to live by these rules. On January 1, 2014, I started participating in a Photo a Day challenge. That has opened my eyes to the smaller things around me - in nature and otherwise. At the same time, it's increased my curiosity. And I have found that I've been a lot happy incorporating these habits into my daily life. (I wish that ePub books had a search function. I'd love to be able to locate the last two secrets to happiness.)

5. Zach uses colors to help him understand his emotions better. What do you think about Zach's justifications for his choices? Which colors would you use to represent your emotions? Do you think colors have an impact on your mood?

Zach's use of colors to represent emotions reminded me of the Disney movie, "Inside Out." In the movie, characters and colors represent the emotions. I can't remember which colors Zach used nor can I remember what colors were used in the movie. But it makes good sense to me in good places. The colors chosen made sense to me in both the novel and the movie.

I think colors probably do have an impact on my mood. The more I like the colors I'm surrounded with, the happier I most probably am. I'd use blue to represent a feeling of peace. Yellow or pink might be happiness. Green would be jealousy or envy. Black would be sadness. Orange would be confusion.

6. On page 114, Zach says, "People start to forget about you after you die and they can't see you all the time anymore. It was already happening with Andy. I started to notice that at his funeral that was on the day after the wake. Everyone was talking about Andy, but they talked about him like they only remembered some parts of him, not all the parts... . It was like they weren't really talking about Andy or they were starting to forget about what he was like." Do we do a disservice to our loved ones when we only remember them at their best?

It's natural to remember our loved ones at their best. Those are the good memories. But sometimes when we're alone, we remember the yucky stuff. That's not the stuff that we miss, though.

7. Do you think Zach should have returned to school earlier, or that he was sent back before he was ready? What role does Miss Russell play in helping Zach heal? Do you think Zach learns to trust school as a safe place again?

After going through a school shooting, how can you trust school as a safe place again? I read an article yesterday about how experiencing a lockdown (with or without a shooting) can cause psychological damage. I think there isn't enough research done on just this yet. Miss Russell acknowledges Zach's loss and gives him a little charm that she told him gave her comfort after she lost her grandmother. She was understanding of what he was going through.

As for when Zach should have returned to school, I guess I was surprised that the school didn't more aggressively offer grieving programs for the families of the victims. Zach's dad drove Zach to school for weeks, and each day he'd ask if Zach was ready to go in. And each day Zach said, "Not yet." Should there have been some gradual return? Like meeting with Miss Russell at the (new location) of the school first alone? I just don't know. But I do think he was out of school too long. He might have had an easier time handling his grief if he'd been with other children who had also experienced loss.

8. Zach suffers from survivor's guilt after Andy's death, feeling that everyone might have been happier if he'd died instead. How does Aunt Mary help Zach work through these feelings? What does she teach him about family?

I wish I could remember the specifics of Andy's sleepover with Aunt Mary, but sadly I can't. What I do remember, though, is that Aunt Mary acknowledged Zach's grief and she acknowledged that Andy was a mix of goodness and terribleness - or at least being a terrible person to be around at time.

9. Zach's TV interview is traumatic for him. If you were in his mom's position, would you have put Zach on camera? Why did she insist, and why didn't any of the other adults intervene?

I would like to think that I wouldn't even consider putting a child through the experience of the TV interview. She was grieving herself, unable to see his grieving, so set on getting back at the parents of the shooter. She couldn't see what Zach was going through. Did she think the whole family should have felt the same way that she felt? As a mom, had she been thinking, she would have realized the stress this put Zach under. And might she have worried about how unpredictable his responses to the interviewer would be? The dad didn't intervene because he was struggling just as much, but in a slightly different way. The interviewer thought this would  be a more interesting interview, good for ratings. The camera guy, Dexter, is the one who could have suggested that including Zach in the interview was probably a bad idea.

10. What do you make of Zach's perceived betrayal by Dexter? Did Dexter fail Zach when he needed a friend most, or was he just doing his job? Do you think Zach sees the situation more or less clearly because he's a child?

Zach failed to step up to the plate, but I don't really fault him. He didn't know Zach and wasn't quite sure what he needed. And he most likely didn't want to overstep his bounds. But I do think that Zach saw the situation more clearly because he was a child. He didn't have preconceived notions about how things were supposed to be. He accepted things at face value. And he was incredibly perceptive.

11. If you had to trade places with any of the characters, who would it be? Why? Who would you least like to trade places with?

I could see me in the place of one of the grandmothers, Much more easily than I could see myself - or want to see myself in the role of the teacher. I believe that I could love my grandchild in a way that my severely hurting child was unable to love or attend to his or her child at the moment. I would least like to trade places with Zach's mother, Melissa. I don't even want to imagine anything remotely like what she was going thru.

12. According to the Gun Violence Archive, nearly four thousand children and teens were hurt or killed by gun violence in 2017. Do you think there is anything we could be doing to prevent these injuries and deaths? 

GUN CONTROL. Not necessarily getting guns off the street, although I think that's what I believe in. But background checks, waiting periods, restrictions of gun ownership. There also needs to be a better awareness of mental health problems, a better way to recognize them and to de-stygmatize treatment mental health problems. There's too much anger across the board, from adults to youngsters, and lots of school shootings are caused by angry shooters. Why is everyone so angry? What is the answer to that? Gun violence has only gotten worse in 2018. How many students at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida are going through what Zach and his family are going through? And that's real life!

13. Many books have been written about school shootings but none from the point of view of such a young child. Why do you think the author wrote this book from Zach's perspective instead of an adult's? Did having such a young narrator teach you anything new about surviving tragedy?

Zach's understanding of the situation and his ability to show compassion was much more honest than that of an adult. The story was more honest this way. Had an adult narrated the story, there would have been a lot of preconceived notions included in relaying how the child viewed the situation. Children are more open to forgiveness, better able to see both sides, and they are more resilient.

14. If you could give Zach one piece of advice to help guide him as he grows up, what would it be?

I would tell Zach to hold on to the memories of having an older brother, being part of a family with two children. I'd tell him to do all he can to keep Zach alive inside of him.

One question that I have is about the affair that Zach's father had. We learn he'd had an affair with Ricky's mom. I guess from Zach's point of view, it didn't mean anything and that's why it was only mentioned in passing. It had more meaning to Ricky's mom and that is further developed.

This book was exceptionally well done. I'm looking forward to our book club discussion, but I'd recommend this book to anyone who would be comfortable reading a novel about a shooting at an elementary school, whether or not you have anyone to discuss it with. (Don't forget, you can always start a dialogue with me about any book that I review in this blog.)

You might be interested in this interview with Rhiannon Navin.